Born and raised in France, living in the Philippines is a real culture shock. If you are Filipino or French, there is no reason to get offended here.
Both countries have their own identity and choosing between them only depends on you. What we want to do here is only to express our own insight.
How we, two French nationals in their mid-twenties who recently started living in Manila, perceived the cultural differences between France and the Philippines.
One of the first characteristics we noticed that has a huge difference between both cultures, is how Filipinos value family. Even when a Filipino is outside the country, we can notice it. Filipinos abroad would tend to have this feeling of family by creating strong Filipino communities outside the Philippines by gathering as often as possible, as they try to soothe each other’s homesickness by being together even for just a few hours.
They temporarily don’t feel that they are alone, and far from their families back home. As several of them only get a chance to fly home once a year or maybe once every two years, depending on their employers. Even the mere fact that a Filipino hears somebody speak Tagalog, they would instantly greet each other and have a small talk and ask each other what is their hometown in the Philippines.
In Paris , they usually gather at some parks on weekends, bringing all the kids and having a picnic. If you go there, you might find John’s Filipino family around “Porte de la Muette” with many other Filipinos on a Sunday Anyway, that is to say, it is a way to remind themselves of the feeling of having their family close to them.
When we hang out in malls in Manila during Sunday and we pass in front of restaurants. We see many families, from toddlers to grandparents, gathered around large tables for lunch, usually after they hear mass earlier that day.
They talk and ask how each other is doing, and even pick on some family members to tease on for the day. They call it “Sunday Family Day'' and we find it really amazing to see familial bonds that close, sometimes even extended family members (cousins, second cousins, etc.) are present.
It is a really fun view to see.
First, because the concept of family has lost its importance in France. We mostly send our grandparents to retirement home, while here, old people stay in the family house, being taken care of by the younger ones or be at least assisted by a carer but the elders still stay at home. They usually tend a garden, join a local church group, cook some food that they think that their children and grandchildren would love, and would serve as a break from all those take-out meals that they had.
Then, the "Sunday family" mentioned above, is not that popular. Seeing how Filipinos manage to gather the whole family during Sunday makes us think that it will be great to do the same for our future family. The more we grow up, the more we understand how such a day can be important.
Lastly, you know, we are two foreigners with our families living in France. Which means that we can only see them when we go back there (once or twice a year). Obviously, we miss them.
To be even more honest with you, sometimes, we even felt jealous about Sunday Family Day for Filipinos. That is the hard side of living far from your home. Walking in the mall, and seeing all those people gathered, from the hallway, reminds us how lonely we are at this particular moment... But this is another topic for another article 😊
So, to our fellow friends in France, please spend some quality time with your family. We learned how important, nice, and fun that would be during our stay in Manila.
Time spent with family is time well spent.
BUT we want to stay objective. Valuing family as much as Filipino do, has its downside:
Discussing with many Filipinos of our age. We've seen that they tend to leave the family house very late compared to us. Sometimes economics is the main reason for many.
But regardless of financial capabilities, the concept of “family” is often so strong that some Filipinos would stay in their parents’ home until they get married at least, especially girls.
So, we asked our friend, a Filipina blogger, Cat Trivino, why:
“It’s a lot more conservative for Filipinos. We’re treated like kids til god knows when. And for some… if they start working, there’s this responsibility to serve the family already.”
Important decisions mostly go through the process of the family’s approval. It is very noticeable in career choice for example.
Although, it tends to change. A lot of young Filipinos had to follow a certain career path to please their family. Which is how such a stereotype as “if you are a Filipino then you are a nurse” arose.
This situation is challenging the process where a young individual must take his/her own decisions to grow.
In a way to become more mature and to transition to adulthood.
Finally, what we think is that both cultures could learn from each other: balancing family and independence. Young French people give more attention to their family and young Filipinos to empower themselves more by being more independent, breaking career stereotypes, and doing the things that they love.
Concluding with a witty phrase: total dependence is as destructive in life as extreme independence. Balancing is the key.
Culture differences is a topic we love talking about as it's a way to expand our mind. So, what is your insight about it? Leave a comment and share this article if you enjoyed reading this article! 😊
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